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GREEN HOME SHOW #41: Renewable energy (continued): Part 2 Skits and Thumbs up and Thumbs down
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Mission Possible – 5:00 Sponsored by: CMI Electric
Episode 3 – “The Break In”
Mission Impossible music
Voice: As always Mr. Hunt, should you or any of you PMF team be killed or captured, the secretary will disavow….
DH: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude!!! You need to get a grip? I thought we went through this last week. The tape recorder voice only comes on at the beginning of a mission. We’re in the middle of a mission.
Voice: I'm sorry… I have such a small part and it's only the beginning and end of each mission that I just thought maybe I could, you know, be a little more involved. I always wanted to be more than just a voice... I want to do some action... I want to actually shoot a gun… or be in a car chase... or steal back the secret report that could save the world....
DH: You know, I really feel for you... but right now we have a mission to pull off and I need to concentrate on that. If I need you, I’ll call you... just be ready, okay? In fact, I could use you for the narrator, not just the opening voice. I know it’s still voice-over work, but it gets you a little more involved right away… does that work for you?
Voice: Okay thanks... thanks so much... I'm ready...
DH: Okay, how about starting right now and reading the next intro piece...
Voice: Okay, cool. (Changing to Narrator): This week we find Doug Hunt, the smarter, younger, faster, and prettier brother of former “Possible Mission Force” (PMF) agent Ethan Hunt, beginning to load all of the tools and equipment that the PMF team will need for their mission to steal back the Secret New Energy and Renewable Strategies (or SNERS) report, which as you know, has the capability of saving the world. Apparently it’s fallen into the hands of SNIEED - Stupid Nincompoops Insistent on Energy Efficiency Destruction
It’s up to agent Hunt and his PMF support team to retrieve the SNERS report and put it back in the hands of the citizens of the world so that they can stop global warming (and eat more vegetables and grains and enjoy many long hours on the beach surfing, tanning, shell collecting, swimming and playing in the sand... so that Doug and Ethan Hunt can have fun building secret sand assault castles and playing spy without having to worry about polluted water and littered beaches. Oh yes and they would like to have clean air and …)
DH: Yo! Mr. Voice!! I didn’t ask you to improvise… please… just read what’s written.
Narrator: Uh, sorry… I got a little carried away. I’m just trying to show you what I can do. …but first they must pull off their most difficult mission possible yet. To steal back the SNERS report ASAP and deliver it directly into the hands of HOPE (Happy Organic People Everywhere)...
Last week, PMF agent Doug Hunt, (the smarter, younger, faster, and prettier brother of former Mission Possible agent Ethan Hunt) put together a plan to retrieve the SNERS Report. Brother Ethan has been re-assigned and is out of town to organize a new START (Super Tricky Agents for Retrieving Technology) team to try and steal the SNARK back from SNISTLE. We don’t really know what any of that means, but we do know that Agent Hunt has finally chosen his team. Anita Reason is clever, technically proficient, excellent with computer logarithms and this morning she’s a beautiful blonde. Bad Pritt, with what appears to be a two day old beard, is the breaking and entering guy. He can get in and out of just about any secured stronghold or vault. And of course, Agent Hunt knows he’d never complete this Mission Possible without the assistance of the virtually invisible Green Fox, a true master of disguise, who can completely blend into any environment. We join the Team as they’re loading equipment into the Bio-diesel powered Hummer that they’ll use to try and infiltrate SNIEED.
DH: OK who took the Space-age Polymer Anti-gravity Zeppelin out of the Hummer?
BP: I took out the SPAZ to make room for the Sleek Low Energy Zinc-coated Element.
DH: Well you can’t just pull the SPAZ for the SLEZE. We need to find room for it because we have any chance of getting back the SNERS from SNIEED, we’re gonna need both the SPAZ and the SLEZE, especially if we expect to get the SNERS back from SNIEED before my brother gets the SNARK back from SNISTLE. Has anyone figured out what the heck that means yet?
ALL: No (grumbling)
GF: Might I say, I just love the idea of a Hummer that runs on vegetable oil. Those SNIEED agents will never recognize us in one of these, and when they smell vegetable oil that it will undoubtedly emit, they won't be able to resist the urge to run to the nearest burger joint to order cheese fries and a coke. I must admit, I weaken to the point of indulgence myself on occasion. A moment on the lips… a lifetime on the hips... But never… never on a mission. Hopefully that will give us enough time to break in grab the SNERS and get back out before we’re noticed.
AR: You know, I have a hard time resisting a juicy burger or steak myself, but of course I only eat grass fed beef that hasn't been treated with steroids or antibiotics. That's how I stay in such fabulous shape… and of course today’s french fries are much better for you than they used to be since they got rid of the trans fats.
BP: Maybe we could stop for some on the way over.... I haven't had a burger for a week because I’m cutting my beef consumption down by half... ya know if we all cut our beef consumption by half and then use the grains (that we aren’t then feeding to cattle) to feed the world’s hungry, it would cut world hunger nearly in half... that's how much beef we eat in this country... and that's how wasteful the beef industry is... it's like 19 pounds of grains for every 1 pound of steak... can you believe that? What a waste of protein and energy...
I’m glad I didn't have to give up my beef… I just cut back a little... you know you can't digest more animal protein that you can hold in your hand anyway, about the size of a deck of cards... Of the course, the green food stock effects of producing less processed protein are huge....why...
GF: Well that was interesting, BUT a bit more than we confirmed and converted vegetarians probably want to hear... (although it was interesting and fits well in the skit)... I myself have no urges whatsoever and have successfully made the transformation from Meat Eating carnivore, to a tofu tasting carnivore... I mean former-carnivore... and by the way... I call shotgun...
(Fighting in the back ground over who is riding shotgun)
Narrator: as the PMF motors down the road, each agent is readying him or herself for the difficult and dangerous mission that lies ahead. Let's listen in to the important instructions and motivating speech of their leader....
DH: Listen all of you! Knock off the arguing! The Fox called shotgun before anybody else and I don't want to hear anything more about it… and Bad stop poking Anita and leave her alone... don’t make me pull this Hummer over... Am I understood?
DH: Alright then… Now I don’t want alarm anyone, but I just received intelligence that SNIEED may not have been acting alone when they stole the SNERS. It appears that either the Simbionese Nationalists Of Tonga (or SNOT), or possibly the Somalian Liberation Independent Movement for Energy Devistation (or SLIMED), may also be involved. Reports are sketchy, but it appears that either SNOT and or SLIMED may have been in cahoots with SNIEED when the SNERS was snatched. So stay safe! Okay everybody, put on your SNIEED costumes.
AR: What happens if they’re waiting for SNOT or SLIMED agents and we show up sporting SNIEED costumes?
DH: Well, that’s a scenario too scary to speak of. If it presents itself we’ll deal with it then. Good… we look like real SNIEED agents now... let me do the talking when we get there.... I’ll deal with those big, burly guards. Just follow my lead. Okay here's the guard shack… everyone stay cool…
BP: Dude, those “big, burly guards” look like supermodels!
DH: Okay, let me handle this. I think we'll be fine, and if we’re lucky, we actually might get a couple of dates out of this... how about that Bad?
BP: Gnarly dude... but remember, I got a shoot in the Bahamas next week... and the wife and kids...
AR: Oh please! The two of you! If I have to sit through this, I'm going to be sick, and right now all I can think of is french fries and a burger... this vegetable oil bio-diesel Hummer is making me really hungry....hey... has anybody seen the Fox?.... are you here Fox?
BP: I think the Fox got out when we stopped dude...
AR: I’m going to go look for him while you guys drool over these two “guards”... absolutely disgusting and unprofessional... maybe I can get a burger and fries while I'm looking for the Fox.
DH: Okay whatever... hey there... it appears from your name-tag that your name is Michelle... How’s it going there Michelle? So… how long you been workin’ for SNIEED? Do you work here often? I mean me and my fellow SNIEED agents here, we’re not planning on working too late tonight, you know... we just came in for a routine briefing… might not even be on your list there. It’s a kinda “secret” briefing, shouldn’t take long. It’s a last minute thing, ya know? The orders were late and when they faxed ‘em over, we couldn’t read half of ‘em… you know how SNIEED can be.
Michelle: Ya, dhats ok ..we think you are Cutie spies.... real cutie spies.... now put your hands up, and get out of the smelly vehicle. You are cutie spies alright... but you are also a Possible Mission team... you see, we don't run our Hummers on vegetable oil and we have been vaccinated against the smell so that we don't run from our posts to grab french fries and cokes... which is more than I can say for the rest of your team. Dhat pretty one sure ran away quick. Now! Out of the car! We're going to take you to be interrogated... and maybe tortured... you know your president thinks it's okay...
DH: Okay voice… we need you now voice.... here's your chance voice... you can be a hero voice... anytime you feel like coming in to save the day… you can shoot that gun now… where are you? Oh voice…
Voice/Narrator: Tune in next week for the feather board torture, or polluted water board torture, or feather bed torture… I’m not really sure. See what happens when Anita Reason and the Green Fox meet up at the local Burger Deluxe and we discover that the Fox may not be an ex-carnivore after all… could he be a plant?... ya know… like a double agent? Can I have cheese with those fries? Would you like an apple pie with that?... don't miss next week's exciting adventure of Mission Possible.
Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down – 5:00 Sponsored by: Option Insurance Group
Did You Know?
PNC Bank, now has more certified green buildings than any other company in the world, and continues to receive national recognition for its leadership and commitment to the environment. One only needs to look at PNC's 25 green branches and First Site Center for examples of how the company integrates environmental responsibility with its daily business practices.
But until recently, stamping those buildings (green) was not an easy or efficient process. The US Green Building Council's requirements involve in rigorous evaluation and a significant amount of staff time and paperwork for each building.
For the past 18 months, PNC has been encouraging the USGBC to issue bulk certifications which would allow companies that apply the same environmentally friendly design and construction to receive simultaneous review and, if they meet the criteria, received certification for all of the same or similar buildings
On November 15th of last year, the Council launched just such a process announcing it at the green and gold expo in Denver, attended by 12,000 people.
PNC was announced as the first-ever recipient of bulk certification, earning green status for 18 branches across five states. All of the branches were built based on the same design and open since April of 2005.
The USGBC’s decision reduces PNC's administrative costs and validates the firms environmental commitment. Additionally, with a less cumbersome process to complete, other companies can similarly benefit and bring faster change to reduce emissions and increase energy efficiency of commercial buildings nationwide.
“This increases the incentive for retailers who have large rollouts to go through the process” said Gary Saulson, director of corporate real estate in a recent Wall Street Journal article. PNC is the first retailer (in any industry) to build all its new locations green.
Finland: Europe's technology leader.
Although it's on the fringe of Europe geographically, for years Finland has been at the center of the continent's tech industry.
The country gave birth to cell phone leader Nokia has emerged as a place where multinationals like to recruit and erect labs. The government and local entrepreneurs are now moving into clean technology.
Prime Minister Matthew Vanhaten says that back in the 80’s, the country saw the dawning of globalization and realized it would have to dig out a high-end niche in the industry. “Because we cannot compete with Asian companies with low wages, our only possibility has been to stay a few steps forward. Of course”, he said, “we also invested in education.”
And here's the key part; as a nation, funding for research and development has also consistently remained fairly high. Finland invests around 3.5% of its gross domestic product into R&D. “There are only two or three other nations that spend that much” he said. The Eastern European bloc as a whole wants to raise the figure for member states to 3%.
A thumbs up to Finland for finding a way to keep their economy going and growing. Well, globalization continues to level the playing field here in the US. Perhaps our government should be watching and listening.