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GREEN HOME SHOW #19: More on increasing car mileage and saving gas: Part 2 Skit and Audience Going Green Questions
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The following content is from THE GREAT GREEN HOME SHOW #19.
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Overall Segment #2 – 12:00
On location with Cletus – 6:00 Sponsored by: Energy Services Group
Professor Cletus T. Beaumont goes to buy a car:
Today we’re on location with the Great GREEN HOME SHOW’s resident Forensic Roadkill Pathologist, Professor C T B and I understand he’s out at the world’s largest Automall in Newark, DE, (Newark, DE has the world’s largest automall?) researching and inspecting all kinds of cars. Let’s check in with him now. Professsor… can you hear me? Are you there Professor?
CTB: Yes it’s me... who’dya think it would be... is that you Dougie Boy?
Doug: Yes professor, it’s me. How’s the car hunting going?
CTB: Well how the heck’re you doin’ there Doug. I’m out here checkin’ out all these new energy-efficient cars and I gotta tell you… there are so many models and so many types of cars to choose from that I’m gonna be here a while! I got new cars… I got used cars… I even got cars that’ve bin rented by corporations for their salesforces and the like. That’s what I call recyclin’… although ya gotta check that mileage.
I gotta to tell ya Doug, these hybrid cars are looking better and better. There’s a couple o’ real important components to the lighter and more fuel-efficient cars that I would like to go over. But first you have to tell me what the deal is with this inflatable stick man on the corner of the Car lot. They keep blowin’ ‘im up and then letting the air out of ‘im. I‘m not sue what that's all about, but it's making me dizzy. I think I may toss my cookies…
Doug: Professor, please tell us about the cars
CTB: First off, if a car is lighter and you're not driving at a high rate of speed, it’s more likely that a squirrel, or a possum, or even a raccoon will be able to get out of your way when you come barrelin’ around the corner while the poor critter is tryin’ to eat that Big Mac that he found by the side of the road. As you know Doug, I am the world's foremost authority on roadkill and what I’m tryin’ to say is that not only are the fuel-efficient smaller cars good for our environment, but they’re good for our varmints too. Now take this here new-fangled plug-in hybrid car. Most people’s average work commute is about 25 to 35 miles a day. These plug-in hybrid cars run strictly on the battery for the first 25 or 30 miles… so if you're just goin’ back and forth to work or maybe runnin’ down the road to pick up yer groceries or yer kids or some tasty roadside raddichio on the shoulder of Naaman’s Road on the way home, you might not ever use any gasoline at all... and best of all, you can plug it into your house at night. And I say that's a good deal. And translated into equivalent gas costs, it’s only costs you about a dollar per gallon to drive the same distance. So you see Doug the future looks bright and it even looks a little bit cheaper, and cleaner and wooow! You should see this car saleswoman… Yer gonna have to excuse me Doug… I need to freshen up a bit here and put some of this groundhog grease in my hair and........
Doug: That’s great professor and it all sounds very interesting, but I’m curious as to why you're looking at cars today.
CTB: I'm glad you asked that Doug. My car’s ‘bout 13 years old an’ it’s only gitting’ about 12 miles to the gallon, and I thought that it was time for a change, so I decided to come out here and see all the safest and most economical cars to buy at the present. You see it ain't the cars on the road that’s killin’ so many animals, but it's the pollution in the air from the cars and from the smokestacks of our utilities which kills more animals and more people than any accidents ever will. Although I ain’t eatin’ no critter that’s bin kilt buy pollution. Not only do they taste bad, but they ain’t no good for ya. That’s one advantage to those unlucky critters, killed on the side of the road… we can cook’em so they won't go to waste. In fact I have two fresh squirrels, a bunny and a possum in the back o’ the car if yer hungry.
Doug: That sounds great Professor but, I've had my lunch already. So let's get back to the cars. Did you know that 30 to 35% of an average car’s lifetime carbon footprint is actually produced by the manufacturing of the car itself?
CTB: I did not know that Doug. So I guess whatchyer sayin’ is if I was buying a new car or if I owned a new car, I should probably hold onto it for while… at least as long as it continues to get decent gas mileage. That way, the car makers won’t make so many cars. And that means we should be lookin’ to make cars in a way that doesn’t put out so much carbon durin’ the manufacture. You know Doug, sometimes I think they just want me buyin’ as much new stuff as fast as I can... wow! Look at that Hummer!... that’s some kinda urban assault vehicle! You know, I’m not sayin’ anything about Hummer owners, but it’s kinda hard to justify ownin’ one of them in this day and age. You know what my uncle Earl says ‘bout men with big cars? They’re just compensatin’ fer a deficit that no one but the Lord can repair…
Doug: I really don’t know anything about that Professor. But please tell me… what car do you like the best?
CTB: Doug I am so glad you asked. There’s this car over here and it's called Xebra and it works great for short commutes of 15 to 20 miles. It's got a solar panel right on top o’ the car that charges it up. So if you kin find yerself a nice sunny spot the parking lot, you may never need gas again! Talk about a low emission vehicle! That’s a “no” emission vehicle. And best of all, you rig the solar panel directly to the catalytic converter and turn yer car into a George Foreman Grill on wheels. Cook up some o’ that bumper beaver buffet ya picked up on the way to the Eagles game! And there ain’t nothin’… and I mean nothin’… like some good ol’ grilled gopher fer tailgatin’!
Doug: Well Professor, that's about all the time we have for today. Good luck on your search for the perfect car. We’ll talk to you soon when you’re God-only-knows where.
CTB: We’ll be sein’ ya Doug. Oh by the way… I fergot to tell ya… I found this new Pampered Chef spatula… scrapes the mashed varmant off yer bumper without damagin’ yer paint. It’s awesome!
Doug: Thanks for that little tip Professor. You have a good day.
That man is one giant grill-gash game gourmet, isn’t he Paul?
That he is… that he is. It’s time for Listener Letters. What do we have Doug?
Listener Letters – 6:00 Sponsored by: CMI Electric
1.Our first letter is from Tim Tamerson of Marydel, DE: “Whats all this buzz about hybrids and plug-ins about. I thought the hydrogen cars were going to be the next transportation?”
a.No existing infrastructure
b.hydrogen? Where...clean hydro? How?
c.Expensive motors...size and storage problems
d.About 25 years off
2.Our next letter is from Chris Smith of Landenberg, PA. Chris wants to know: “Do they make fuel efficient Motorcycles?”
Yes they do and some prototypes are getting amazing mileage… up to 400+ miles per gallon. They also make scooters and three-wheeled motorcycles which get great mileage and are terrific for moving around in urban areas. They'd have neat motorcycles that look just like rickshaws and they get great mileage and can carry up to half a ton of payload were talking about getting 60 to 70 miles to the gallon while hauling up to 1000 pounds of payload.... some of the scooters get as much as 120 miles to the gallon and move around town at speeds up to 40 to 50 miles an hour. Lots of fun…
3.Our last question comes from Leonard Manniso from Wilmington. Leonard asks: “I just bought a new car two years ago and it gets pretty good mileage... should I trade it in or wait until the even more efficient cars come along?”
Answer several different ways.....
Check the Radio Show Segments on GREENandSAVE.com for the ANSWERS!
We’d like to thank CMI Electric for sponsoring this weeks Listener Letters.
